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This is where I put various things I collect and find interesting. My ultimate goal WAS to have an editorial or funny story or something every week, sent to me by people other than myself. However, I don't update this site very often anymore, so all that has changed. Still, send in your funny stories, thought-provoking editorials, cool homemade images, strange homemade soundbytes, or other interesting things, and I will post them here for awhile. Don't worry, you can have it back when I'm done.
This week's special thing is:
The Turtle who Wanted to be a Corn MuffinContributed by: Me 
Evan Rossi invented the story; this is my retelling of it.
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Once upon a time there was this turtle. He thought he was a corn muffin.
He just decided one day that he was a corn muffin.
So he sat in his room on the floor, not moving, silent, for days.
His Mother would call him and tell him it's time for dinner. He wouldn't move, because corn muffins don't move. He would stay completely silent, since corn muffins couldn't talk.
His father would come into the room, saying "Son, why do you sit on the floor alone in your room? Your friends outside want to play, and it's so warm and sunny outside."
But the turtle who thought he was a corn muffin didn't move, because corn muffins didn't move. And he didn't speak, because corn muffins didn't speak.
One day, he got tired of his parents' constant nagging to eat, which corn muffins didn't do because they were food, and he decided move around. So that one day he got up and marched out the door, saying "I've had enough! I'm going to go find my real parents and prove I'm a real corn muffin!"
So he walked on, in the snow, through the woods, and was very cold.
He continued walking, down the streets of town, his little feet freezing until finally, he came across a bakery, and saw a sign out front that said "Corn Muffins, 10 Cents each!"
Since the turtle couldn't read, he kept walking until he got lost and ended up back at the bakery with the sign.
He was extremely cold from all the walking in the snow and the torrent of the hailing snowstorm he had dealt with. So, he huddled by the doorway for warmth and rest.
While standing in the doorway, he peered inside and saw, on the counter, a plate of warm, fresh corn muffins.
He dashed inside! Or, he tried, but the glass door was deceiving, and he was knocked unconscious when he ran into the glass.
When we awoke, he waited for someone to open the door, and then he went inside.
Seeing that his beloved family of corn muffins was still a great distance above him, he gathered a collection of string, sticks, and dust, and built a bridge.
He then had to dismantle this bridge and use his collection of string, sticks, and dust to build a ladder. He climbed the ladder very carefully (this took him quite a while; it was a wonder no passerby stopped him) and eventually ended up at his goal on top of the counter.
The turtle who thought he was a corn muffin was overjoyed! He ran, skipped, and danced to the plate of corn muffins. "Mom, Dad, I'm home!"
The corn muffins said nothing because they could not speak.
So the turtle ran over to the plate of corn muffins and sat down with them, staying completely motionless like his newfound brothers and sisters, and saying nothing because corn muffins couldn't speak.
A man came in to the bakery and said to the lady at the counter in a strong, clear, steady voice, "I'll have one corn muffin, please!"
The lady smiled as the man put a dime down on to the counter, and she grabbed the turtle who thought he was a corn muffin from his place on the plate. She stuck out her hand holding the turtle who thought he was a corn muffin out as proudly as the man had said his words, still smiling vacuously.
The man, a little concerned, spoke again, saying "Miss, that's a turtle." The lady still stood offering the turtle who thought he was a corn muffin to the man, her arm still steady.
The man said "Miss, please, put that back. That's a turtle." And the lady, still smiling, held out the turtle who thought he was a corn muffin.
And the moral of the story is: Never go to a bakery if you know an idiot works there.
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P.S. If you send me something to use, I'm also going to put a little icon picture with it. Get AIM and IM me under MangeroSuoSuola...we can discuss what I will use. Otherwise you might be a bit surprised as to what you might get.
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